Who's Afraid of Existentialism?
Issue 039
NOVEMBER 7, 2018
WRITTEN BY MILENA MCMURRIN
In some Christian circles, the word “existentialism” is equivalent to a curse word. Some Christians do not believe that philosophy theories can be studied as a believer. Before I began my counseling master’s degree program, I associated with these types of Christians.
I think the tipping point of change for me was when I had to choose a counseling theory. Among these theories was psychoanalytic theory (Sigmund Freud), cognitive-behavioral theory, and a few others. The suggested way to choose a theory is to choose the theory that already resonates with you. While learning about each theory, I kept this in mind.
One of the last theories I learned about was existential theory. This theory has a lot to do with discovering purpose in each person’s existence. The counselor has to engage in authenticity and self-discovery before he or she can help the client participate in a similar process. Perhaps that's why existentialism is threatening. A lot of unknown comes with questioning our existence.
Those who grew up with a rigid understanding for their existence may be shaken when they authentically begin to learn about their purpose. It is comfortable to have a closed and systematic view of the world and of God. It's safe. It is unsettling for those of us who “have it all figured out” to begin to wrestle with some things that are truly unknown or difficult to reason with. I've seen many young adults wrestle with this including myself.
I felt as if I had it all figured out, then a doubt and a few questions shattered my perfect, little (but rigid) system of thinking about God. Throughout my questioning, I realized that my previous thinking about God and Christianity hindered me from living into who I was. There are people I used to look down on and/or dismiss who I now see as beautiful people. When I thought in a rigid "us vs them" framework, I could learn nothing from them. That was a shame.
Through my questioning and awakening to the mystery that my faith can have, I discovered a deeper love for people and a larger scope of people to love. God is opening my heart to participate in His mission and to love the world in a way I never could before.
“God is opening my heart to participate in His mission and to love the world in a way I never could before.”
Existential theory was the last theory I expected to relate with, but I kept coming back to it. My previous faith construct would have been too proud to relate existential counseling, but thankfully, right as I was entering this program, my views began to change.
This transition was very unsettling and painful at times because I went from a place of comfort and knowing to a place of unknown, questioning, doubting, fear, and confusion. Even though this process was and currently still is messy, I can never go back to what my faith used to look like now that I am here.
It is interesting to see how my spirituality and my counseling theory of choice have intertwined in such a way that I could have never predicted. There are Christians who fear existentialism, but may I encourage you that the major figures of existentialism, Soren Kierkegaard and Rollo May, were passionate Christians. I used to fear an open, questioning, mystical view of God, but now I see that some of the most passionate and joyful Christians I know view God in this way.
There is something about the mystery, questioning, growing, experiential, authentic view of God, Christianity, and life that resonates with me in a way I never experienced as a systematic, close-minded believer. I hope to only grow to know that there is so much more to learn and experience with God and in life.